title: and then worst of all you never call( Tony and Ziva are best friends mostly because they are both terrible people )
word count: 544
summary: The bartenders and regular patrons of The Fox & Chance started calling them The Godparents sometime last year.
Ziva grinned wickedly at Tony whenever she caught him ogling Gibbs’ ass. Over drinks at The Fox & Chance she puckered her lips and fluttered her eyelashes at him.
“Have you considered wearing a low cut blouse?” she asked, drawing out the ‘s’ in an exaggeration of her accent.
Tony grimaced at her.
“Everyone knows you make your accent thicker on purpose. The idioms thing, too.”
“So you have considered it?”
“How long have you two been together?”
They were, of course, expecting the question. Almost anyone who spent semi-extended periods of time in their presence asked it.
“We’ve been on the same team off-and-on for years now,” said Tony.
“Oh,” said the witness. “I meant, together together.”
“We’re not,” said Ziva.
“But you two seem so...compatible.”
Tony and Ziva laughed at that.
“Yeah, right,” Tony said. “God, could you imagine, Ziva? What if we reproduced? With our genetic combination that child would probably turn out to be a serial killer, or an American Idol contestant, or something else truly evil.”
“Ugh,” Ziva shuddered.
Because of cosmic law, anyone Ziva dated always somehow ended up being secretly evil.
Tony, for one, thought that was likely a reflection on Ziva. Instead of voicing that opinion, he wisely went with the only slightly safer: “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Z.”
“It’s not like you do much better.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Ziva asked him only once.
“Yeah,” Tony smiled at her. “You definitely are. It’s why I like you.”